A message to all TV anchors, radio announcers, and other meidia personalities (and the occasional college professor)

The English language is a funny language. So many words and phrases that are the same with different meanings or totally different with the same meanings. Letters with a variety of sounds and pronunciations. To, Too, and Two. A, E, I, O, and U. (and sometimes Y) I before E, except after C. So many rules! And so many exceptions to the rules!

And lo! The letter H! It begins such words as human, huge, and history. Many of you in "the biz" often ignore this oh, so important letter of our dear alphabet. Why must you insist on pronouncing it yooman? yooge? istory? Maybe you'd prefer we abolish the letter all together. But then you'd have no chance in hell of showing us how hugely distinguished you are. Wouldn't that be a pitty?

Which brings me to the letters A and N. Up atop your precious watch-tower, you also deem it necessary to use an over a before such H-words. The H is there for a reason. Please use it. When doing so, you'll notice that a is actually the more proper and preferred word to use before such words, rather than your beloved an. Why must you change things so? Why must you try to be "cool and different" just because you can? I don't think you're cool and different. If everyone does it, it's not different. It's just weird.

I mean, come on. We're not talking about the pterodactyl or aardvark or anything. These are real words. Let's try to use all the letters next time, OK?

Yours affectionately,
Hben Hjumper